The Canon Cowgirl

I talk to my truck. I know you're thinking "as long as it doesn't talk back to you"...but it does... and he sounds remarkably like Sam Elliott. (If you didn't already think I was crazy this may be a good time to start, but I do realize I'm making all this up so maybe that counts for something.)

"Blue!!" I'll mentally yell at him as I search the parking lot for his superman blue behemoth "Where the hell are you you hunk of junk?"

"Right where you left me!" he'll snap in a rumbly drawl "and I'd be watching who you're callin' a hunk of junk unless you're fixin' to walk home. Do you realize that after you left a Prius parked next to me? I've spent the last four hours hearing how I'm killing the earth for crying out loud."

Blue doesn't like people to talk about his drinking problem.

He also has an obnoxious great sense of humor. Take this April 1st: it was raining steadily and I was late for work. I jumped in started Blue up, went to switch on the wipers...and nothing happened.

"April Fools!" says Blue with a throaty chuckle.

"Blue this isn't funny, I need the wipers!"

"What? You say the blinkers? They're working just fine! Hehheh"

Luckily work wasn't far. As I pulled into a parking spot nerve wracked and drenched from hanging my head out the window... the wipers started working.

"Blue you are such an asshole."

"You know I played the same prank on your dad and he didn't laugh either. You people have no sense of humor."

Apparently in the 1960s seat belts were optional, but smart ass came stock.

This weekend Blue sat at home, my punishment to him after leaving me stranded on Friday. "Its national ride your bike to work day Liz. It's good for you." What Blue failed to realize is that I had forgotten my bike along the side of the road the last time he ran out of gas. Jokes on him!

.....er...wait....